Delores Melon

I’m convinced that black wordpress theme caused instant emo.  Dragging me down man.  Blech. I think this weather is causing seasonal depression too. Blech. Wasn’t feelin the funny.

New theme, weather’s warming up.. I think… sun is out longer at least… PHEW.  In the nik ‘o time too. I’ve been nasty and down lately. Time to shake off this funk! DAMMIT!

Anywho.. hopefully we’ll get some blogging mojo workin again. I’m not entirely certain I’m going to move this blog.  Surrogacy news should be coming along as well. Still waiting on the egg donor situation but I’m not surprised by the delay. We were expecting it. Plus my IP’s are still house shopping out in Cali.  Lucky bastards.

How much do you hide about yourself? I don’t mean you pick your boogers and eat them… that you definitely should continue to hide. That’s gross and unsanitary I’m sure. I mean about your personality, character, thoughts, etc.   Do we all go about life stifling the first thoughts that pop in our head so that we maintain social norms, or is it just me? Do other people fake emotion when there is none, so they don’t seem heartless?

The other day, a girl I went to high school with died. All I know is there was some mention of Lyme’s disease and a possible brain aneurysm.  Her father died a few days prior, and apparently, her mother had a heart attach en route to the hospital.  Within 48 hours she was found unconscious and died.  While I am shocked, I’m pretty much unfazed. I feel awful for her poor children. But here’s where I begin to think something’s wrong with me…

I feel bad that something happened, but my head is going: “move forward, and get over it”.  I find myself routinely biting my tongue because while what I have to say is very logical and realistic, it’s completely inappropriate at the time.   Someone died? Mourning is fine, but get over it. I’m certain they don’t want you wasting your life and dedicating your time to mooning over them. Is that unfeeling, or is it just honest?

When you die, do you want your loved ones spending upwards of a year depressed over you? I don’t. I want my family to be happy. Precisely why I don’t want to die. I’m scared to death to leave my children mother-less at such a young age.  I’m still “Mommy” and it literally makes me sick to my stomach to think they’d have to endure such pain and hurt at such a young age.

But, children aside, what about friends that weren’t really all that close? Don’t you ever wonder about people who actually break down over a celebrity dying?  A member of my family lost her mother several months ago.  Maybe close to a year now. She’s so depressed, still she’s lost a great deal of weight and is never visibly happy.  She’s in her late forties and it’s my understanding her mother was not the symbol of good health.

I have absolutely no idea what to say to someone in this situation. “I’m sorry” sounds stupid since I didn’t kill your loved one. If I did, would I really say “I’m sorry”? what does someone want to hear?

I don’t know. I’m just rambling. But this is the stuff that popped in my head in light of her death.

I’m also convinced that my parakeet will die soon because he’s so old and I ordered him a new cage today.

Monday morning 12am or so, I was awoken by my son in the bathroom complaining that his stomach hurt. We hung out for a bit then he began to spew forth a great volume of ew.  At first I was of course hit by the mother effect and consoled him as best I could, but then the jackass in me peeked out when I realized he was standing straight up and only bending his head forward to vomit. Not bending over the bowl in the more traditional vomit method.

Basically he was sprinkling vomit bits all over the place. GAG.

So, from approximately 12 midnight until 1:30am I sat with him while his stomach settled, and he made one last trip to the potty. At least this time it came out the back door.  I sat up until 2:30 because everytime I dared shut my eyes, I swore he was retching.  Needless to say I did not sleep well.

Wednesday morning, approximately 0200 hours, my daughter is in the bathroom, moaning that she has a belly-ache. Wonderful. Let the vomiting commence. And did it ever.  We got back to bed, and I was awoken about three hours later, to her standing in her room, her head over the plastic trash can used for such emergencies.  We headed to the bathroom for more regurgitating fun. And then we did it again an hour later. And another hour later. And , yet, another hour later.

Now, before I go on, let me share another strange phenomenon going on. My cat sees dead people. It’s either that or he’s determined to kill me from sheer lack of sleep. In between the nightly vomiting courtesy of the children, my cat starts meowing and climbing things in the middle of the night.  He’ll get on the dresser, stare into the mirror and meow like a mad-cat. Like he wants to go in THAT room, that he sees in the mirror. Well, hell, there’s a pretty groovy cat there at the door, why shouldn’t he want to go.

Nothing short of murder has deterred him. Yet.

So, Thursday night, I covered the mirror, and kept the water bottle handy and still he managed to annoy the fuck out of me. He would go into my daughters room and bang around on her desk looking for hair clips all the while pushing the basket of hair clips into the guitar propped near the desk.

Basically I’ve slept like SHIT all week.

Last night I even recall heading to bed, praying that I would get a night of peace.  Around 2 am I think, I was awoken to the sound of my son in the bathroom, moaning. Again. This time, it lasted ALL NIGHT. We were up from 2 or so until 4:30 thereabouts.  Then up again at 5, until 6.  I had to get up at 8 to get Mans clothes ready for work. By 6:50 I was losing hope.  Because Son didn’t want me to go back to bed, and instead stay in the living room with him, I had to try to get comfortable in the recliner. At least this time, I chose the more comfortable of the two.

I grabbed my nifty new cellphone, set the alarm and headed out. All the while Son was back in the bathroom, evacuating his colon for the third time. I’ve found much use for the word “sharting”.  I got comfy, hoping for at least forty minutes of shut eye. Unfortunately, Man got up early. I had only gotten like 20 minutes.

Needless to say I”m still up. I tried to nap once Man left for work, but I had a sick kid and a NOT sick kid to look after. The sick kid was relatively content to laze on the couch. The NOT sick kid however, wanted food, attention, the remote…  We made her our bitch today. We made her the go-girl. “Go get me a soda, girl!”

I bet you twenty bucks I’ll get this fucking flu tonight. Just when I get comfortable in the bed my stomach will hurt and I’ll be three seconds from shitting my pants. I guarantee it. I won’t get any sleep for yet another night in a row.

Oh, and that damn cat. Everytime I catch his ass sleeping today, I wake his little ass up. Like right now, he’s curled up on my lap. I let him get all settled then kick him.

is coming soon.  No… not me, not geographically.  This blog is moving.  Whaaaaaat???

Why is irrelevant. Where is yet to come, since I haven’t located the new home. Most likely here at wordpress…. lost in the maze of the other bazillion blogs.

Don’t worry, I’ll leave a trail of crumbs.

Initially, I hated Facebook. I was a stout Myspace supporter. Well, I just didn’t hate Myspace. Now I do. For one thing, it takes AGES to load on my crap laptop. In fact, some shit myspace pages take ages to load on my TOTALLY AWESOME PC.  Lately however, I’ve discovered Facebook may in fact, be superior to Myspace. THERE! I said it. I’ve changed my tune.

That, and the fact that I discovered Man has a Facebook page. Loser. I had a facebook account, I just never used it. Plus, I used my oh so clever alias, DeloresMelon. I’m smooth.  On the downside, old school chums had no clue who the hell I was.  So earlier this week I broke down and created an account with my TRUE IDENTITY! duh duh du duuuuhhhh.

Within an hour, I had a friends request from a school chum. By the next morning, I had another. Then another, and another. I’ve already doubled my friend count from the Delores account, and one of the friends on Delores was my own  brother. That doesn’t count.

So, in closing.. Facebook is great. And you can reconnect with old friends, make new friends, and if you’re lucky and know the password to your husbands facebook you can add incriminating pictures and post embarrassing stuff on his profile.  At least until he finds it.