Delores Melon

How exactly do you find your friends? I’ve posted before about FOM, and the final kick-to-the-curb… and I’ve not spoken a word to her since, well… I don’t recall since when. I’d have to go back through my posts. I do know it’s been ages. Long enough that I know it’s a done deal.

The kids are heading back to school in about two weeks. Her son and my daughter are in the same grade, but fortunately not the same class. I’d hate for a field trip to be ruined because I’m avoiding her and thinking bad things, and watching her whisper to another Mom all the while looking in my direction. Yes, she’s that ridiculous and did that very thing in CHURCH no less.

I’m not a big “field-trip Mom” to begin with, but this is my baby girl, so I’m sort of required to go. Plus, my daughter is a hoot. I enjoy time with her because she makes me laugh. I’m not saying my son isn’t, I’m just talking about my daughter at the moment.

So, I’m quite relieved that my interaction with FOM, (who needs to be renamed… hmm.. FFOM: former friend of mine), will be limited. Unless of course, it’s her son’s class going along with my daughter’s class. We shall see. What would have made it an epic win for me, would to have seen my sister-in-law’s daughter in the same class as FFOM’s. To say they don’t get along is a bit of an understatement, and given my SIL’s bitchbag status… well… you get it.

So, basically I’m friendless. It’s wearing on me. It’s not pitiful though, as I’m not incapable of having friends because I’m too icky, or weird, or smelly. I just haven’t cared to attempt another friendship. For awhile you can convince yourself you’re quite happy being a “loner”. Don’t they even write songs about being a loner? So it must be something on the up and up. Right?

You can sort out yourself and play solitaire. After a bit, however, your dog loses interest in your latest menstrual cramp story. The cats don’t care that the kids never pick up after themselves. Man? …. please. Are you kidding? He’s a man, which automatically excludes him from “girlfriend” material. Plus, he’s a MAN… there’s NO estrogen whatsoever. I don’t care what science says. That man has no ability to listen and sympathize.

So. What do you do when the solitaire bores you and the dog is whispering to the cats about you? I don’t know really. I suppose you could dawdle in the grocery store. I hear the produce aisle is a great pick up spot. I don’t know about you, but my grocery store has a pitiful produce section. The last time I was there, some man was growing increasingly combative with his cart, and I seemed to be in his way no less than three times.

What I have discovered, I’m certainly not alone. Just this week alone I’ve discovered several forums devoted to people finding friends. Even Craigslist has a w4w site, under platonic, and most of the ads were simply women looking for friends.

In school I had a few, select friends that I felt close to.  I typically only ever had one very best friend, with a few good friends. I traveled in small circles. I carried on pretty well with everyone, and never fit perfectly in any one clique. In fact, I got along with people in all of the typical cliques. It worked for me.

Now, I just don’t have the opportunity I guess. I don’t work, I don’t go to school, and my kids play with the kids in our neighborhood, so I don’t have to take them anywhere to play. My life is certainly optimal for solitude. Sadly, it’s getting boring.

So, I joined a forum. It’s a forum of local moms so I can’t use geography as an excuse to avoid people. There are literally moms living nearby. I even took a chance and registered on the forum. Dear god when will the heart palpitations stop?? It’s not that bad.. really. I’m breathing normal now and everything.

ALSO, I’ve decided to go back to school.  I can get an education, and meet new people. One shot. That’s efficient.

As far as cooking, I’ve pretty much hung up any notion of accomplishing anything until both kids are tucked securely on that beautiful yellow tube of happiness, otherwise known as the school bus.  I love my kids. Honest to Pete I do, but if they don’t go back to that fooking school soon I’m going to stab myself in the eyes.  Luckily (for my eyes at least), school for my son starts on Monday, and my daughter goes on Thursday. Why they do that is beyond me, but Pre-K and K start after the other kids. Whatever, just take them back PLEASE!!!!!