Delores Melon

You thought that was a pregnancy reference didn’t you? Seriously, let me tell you about my yeast. I got you again, didn’t I?

I have a super bread machine. Not only that, I also have a knack for baking some kick ass bread in my regular, non denominational oven. My bread machine is the Zojirushi Home Bakery X20. It’s pretty damn expensive, but so is driving to the store these days and buying a loaf of chemically laden bread. Ok, honestly I have no clue what is in store bread, but I think that right there is a tip off that it’s probably not the best option as far as bread goes.

I don’t deserve the title of “baker” although I’m no slacker in that area. On second thought, maybe I do deserve the title. I have been baking since I was a kid. I would stay home from school sick, and end up either meticulously cleaning my bedroom, or baking. Weird kid, but now I know my way around a pastry blender.

I can make a pretty decent pie crust from scratch, and I make a respectable chocolate pie. I’ve made a pretty tasty coconut cream pie too, my favorite. But bread is my love. I literally take a loaf out of the oven and ogle it for awhile. I caress it. I contemplate taking pictures. In fact, I will the next time I bake a loaf. I just made a loaf tonight in the bread machine. My bread almost turns me on.

You really can’t beat the convenience factor with bread machines. Toss a few ingredients in the pan, put the pan in the machine, hit a couple buttons and two hours later, you’re in blissfully delicious bread land. And the aroma…. Oh, Em, Gee. I don’t have any qualms with a bread machine. It isn’t like it’s not real bread. Visually, I like my oven baked bread. Although, this bread machine does make a horizontal loaf shaped more like a store bought loaf. I had a machine several years ago that made the vertical dome of bread. Very un-bread like. This machine is, so far, awesome. Some days I just want bread, sans the work.

Briefly, a little about the machine. It makes up to a two pound loaf. It does bread, dough, wheat bread, jam, cake, and meatloaf. Meatloaf? I’m sorry, but that’s not something I want in my bread machine. I have made a delicious banana bread twice using the cake cycle. Yum. Not sure if the jam option excites me or not. I still have hope that I’m going to use my canning supplies some day. I’m ever the optimist.

I’m serious, if you’ve never had a bread machine, and have about an acre of countertop free, get one. Get this one. Or get a Breadman. They’re allegedly good machines too. I just equate high price with quality. Please stop laughing at me. Really, it’s rude. Actually, I chose this one because it received excellent reviews and I liked the horizontal loaf shape. It has nine baking modes and a delay cycle. Nice if you get a tingle waking up to fresh baked bread.

So, yeah this machine is a beast. Luckily I happen to have one of those garage like cabinets on the counter. I can just tuck it in and pull down the door. I think counter space is overrated. Think of the workout you get moving heavy appliances to make room to roll out pie crust or pizza dough. You should see my biceps. I have Kitchen Aid to thank for that. They don’t just make kick ass stand mixers, they build muscle mass.

Now, here’s the secret….. you need to find the recipes that make these heavenly loaves. I have discovered a book that of the recipes I’ve tried they’ve been delicious. Bread and pizza dough. I loved the pizza crust, Man wasn’t in love with it, but he still ate it. He didn’t like the crust part that you hold when you’re eating the pizza. The book, appropriately titled, “The Bread Lover’s Bread Machine Cookbook”, by Beth Hensperger. Again, great reviews. If you’ve read my blog before you know my feelings on reviewing things.

Unfortunately, the whole wheat recipe I tried, twice, came out like a brick. Now, one of two things could be the cause, and I’m leaning toward my flour. I think it might be a bit out of date. Or, it could just be that even though this machine touts amazing wheat bread abilities, it doesn’t cut the mustard. Sadly, my 300 watt Kitchen Aid likely wouldn’t live through a batch of whole wheat dough, so I will forgo the whole wheat bread for now, or possibly let the Cuisinart have a go at it. Don’t go flooding my inbox with requests for an update on the whole wheat bread crisis. You’ll just have to be patient. *sarcasm meter hits midway*

My next baking adventure is a cake. Now, like any wing nut I can whip up a Betty Crocker special and slap on some chocolate spackle. Voila, cake it is. But what I really want to do, is create a real cake. Glorious tender crumb, light and moist. Complete with buttery, sinfully delicious frosting. Now, I’ve accomplished this feat before, unfortunately, the final result had a not so happy ending.

I’ll recant that tale for you another time. Right now, it’s bedtime.