Delores Melon

I realize my recent anti credit card nazi behavior is borderline psychotic, but I think I just freaked out a Bank of America (BOA) customer service rep. When the funds were available, I made haste in paying off two BOA accounts that were teetering around 29% interest rate. Yeah, take a minute to swallow that. Needless to say, I payed little attention to the account thereafter. Until today.

I received a darling piece of correspondence letting me know my NINETY FUCKING DOLLAR annual fee was assessed. Now, when I paid off this card some months ago, they then decided to be real buttballs and lowered my credit line to a whopping $500. I couldn’t have cared less, really. But now they’re assessing a $90 annual fee on a credit line of $500. That’s 18% of the entire credit line. If that isn’t paid by the due date, they get to tack on a hefty 29% finance charge. Dude, seriously?

That’s one money making scheme if ever there was one. Let’s see, we’ll slap on an arbitrary fee, and we can do that because we spell it out in all the literature we send out, and hope no one reads, that if we should get a tickle in our bathing suit region and want to change the terms of your credit card agreement, WE CAN!!! WE SUCK!

Now, here’s the twist I hadn’t expected. Jeff, at BOA, was kind enough to remove that charge. I had resigned myself to paying it, because of the handy way they word their “fine print” they could pretty much shove parakeets in my dogs asshole if they chose to do so. MY parakeet at that. Not today folks, Jeff to the rescue.

However, Jeff decided to press me for information and found that I’d much rather stick a bomb in my pants than ever use BOA again. Poor Jeff.