Delores Melon

No I did NOT die, although I did just now inhale a large crumb of bagel and may not survive. *accepts applause graciously*.. it’s OK I’m going to be OK. I’m ALIVE!

And now, the news.

• FOM has officially been kicked to the curb, witnesses say it was tense.
• I’ve just now realized I’ve misplaced my trashcan.
• Sears sells pants that FIT ME!
• Product reviews: Can you call Broadway for me?
• What the hell is up with all this new stuff on word press?
• Ritalin: my new wonder drug.
• and more MINDLESS MUSINGS, coming up next.

This just in, the trashcan has been found. Thanks to a rubbermaid-alert (think amber alert folks, you’ll laugh more easily), the trashcan was found just behind the door. Clearly shaken, the trashcan appears unharmed.

FOM hits the curb. Without boring you to tears, I’ve mentioned in the past about this other alleged friend of FOM’s and her lack of brain cells. She’s the one who her and her husband are retarded and making a public ass of themselves. My biggest beef is this: FOM routinely bitched … er.. confided to me about Alleged Friend U, **(referred from now on as, AFU. {for maximum hilarity, think “A [eh], F [fuck], U [you]“, and do it in a New York accent. It’s the irony, kills em every time!}**

OK, what.. oh oh, so FOM bitched about AFU being a bad friend. Lying to FOM, AFU’s kids are retarded too, FOM’s kids hated playing with them, etc. etc. Now quick interject here, there’s another player in this game and no need to hash that out. Suffice it to say that relationship is nearly identical to the one with AFU. Kids too. OK, got it? good.

However, no matter how bad a friend AFU (and other woman) seemed to be, in almost the very same sentence, FOM would then begin to detail her latest outing with AFU. Or better yet, a get together including the husbands. Yes, I said husbands. AFU and her retarded husband, the very couple making a public ass of themselves.

FOM’s own husband, who I had previously felt had some sense, had on one or two occasions, sternly suggested to FOM that she cease contact with AFU. I guess that was forgotten when there was a game on and someone was bringin wings!

So she has bad judgement. Yeah, and typically I wouldn’t give a bat’s ass, but it was every freakin conversation we had. How she was meddling more and more into AFU’s life. She was pissed with AFU for lying to her. AFU’s kids were freakin her own kids out. But they had lunch at McDonald’s.

I propose a meeting with all the powers that be in this world at McDonald’s. Because apparently, it’s a happy place that makes all prior wrongs just go away. How can Bush and Vladimir Putin not get the giggles over a happy meal? Seriously.

What does piss me off is when I invite FOM and her child over to play with my child, who is excitedly anticipating the fun, we are blown off. No I don’t mean a phone call saying someone lost an eye. I mean a lazy ass text message (which cost me 25 cents thank you fucky much), the NEXT DAY that says little more than “I’m an asshole, sorry you had the misfortune to meet me”.

So, hit the curb dumbass. I can have more stimulating conversation with my dog who has the balls to tell people that shit on him to piss off. OK, technically he doesn’t have balls anymore, and he’s the one pissing on everything and I can’t recall him ever telling anyone anything because he’s a dog and can’t talk. MAYBE the time he rolled in another dog’s shit qualifies as someone shitting on him, but it’s rather indirect, and I don’t know….
I hate Sears. I loathe Sears. Sometime, when you’re bored, NO NOT NOW, google the phrase “Sears Sucks”. I identified with those people. I’m not going to get into that now, but the other day I had fifteen minutes to kill so I hoofed on down to Sears. They had pants by jesus and they FIT! I’m a lucky, lucky girl.

So wordpress appears to have implemented some nifty new features. *nods approvingly*

Got me some Ritalin. Adderall apparently lasts for like 2 months then you’re once again, shit out of luck. Actually that’s not true, but for me personally, it started petering out. So, onto the Ritalin we go. I still think my allergies are playing a much larger role in my mental turbulence, and the new meds I’m on now are freakin AWESOME! So, now I can breath easier, sneeze less, and I’m much more pleasant to be around.

New fancy shit I bought:

Canon Vixia HF10 HD digital camcorder. This thing does a shitload of cool stuff. First, it offers dual flash memory (think SanDisk cards you plug in your digital camera’s ass). 16GB of internal memory. Typically in SP record mode, that’s almost 5 hours of record time. No stupid tapes to lose, or break, or forget to buy.

OR, you can buy some of those small, easy to lose, or easy to stick in your pocket SDHC flash memory cards. They’re now coming out with 32GB so you can record like, forever.

It also has 12X optical zoom, and optical image stabilization. Better, and better still. Digital zoom and electronic or digital stabilization are basically marketing terms which basically means inferior feature. There’s an “Easy” button for stupid people…. *cough cough*… like me.

So far I have shot a couple minutes of my daughter doing her own “web show”. She’s five, and a fan of iCarly, the show on Nickelodeon. I see broadway in our future.

When you click to review what you’ve shot, it’s broken down to each time you started recording. After years of using an old vhs recorder, and having to rewind and hopefully stop it just so, avoiding too much static between shots, this feature is amazing. I can pick whatever “scene” I want to review.

Being all up to date and technologically savvy now, I can connect my camcorder directly to my HD big screen via a mini HDMI cable and see all the action in glorious High Definition.

The camcorder also has other nifty things like cinematic shooting, artsy shooting. You can shoot still images (if you don’t want to lug your digital camera, this may be a rather useful feature. Not something that concerned me in the slightest and it’s just another whistle I’ll likely never use).

The mic is on the front just under the lens. Nice design. One of the other camcorders I looked into had a problem with recording internal noise from the motor. Nay nay on this baby.

If anyone really wants more info, I can post again about it. And no, I don’t work for Canon, I don’t owe anyone money at Canon, I don’t even know Mr. Canon. I just like the camcorder and wanted to tell you folks about it. Go buy one if you want, or not I don’t really care. Doesn’t affect my life at all. All though, I’ll get a little satisfaction just knowing I used my skills of mind control to make you go buy something….